oh dear

I haven't been on here in the longest time. I feel awful.

Well, I'm back.

Life has been a big bowl of a very, very mixed up thing, made with a blind child and stirred with something not made for stirring. Like a shoe.

In the past few weeks, I've

• suddenly become good friends with someone I had given up hope on
• we share secrets and smile over the tops of clueless heads and no one is the wiser
• realized that I am definitely not the same person I was for the last three years
• and I only see change now
• and it's hard
• but I'm glad.

And man, am I lazy for typing in bullet points.

I have so much to say.

I mean, SO MUCH TO SAY

and I am so frustrated that I can't say anything coherently.

I will try again in the morning.

I'm just really amazed at where I am now and how my entire perspective on life has just changed. It's like the world is bigger and smaller, and sadder and more hopeful, all at the same time.